we need a humor forum.....until then

And if he/she doesn't think he's/she's treated fair in the U.S. of A., he's/she's free to go somewhere else like maybe China. She's/he's already in Russia so no luggage packing. Try turning your back on the Russian flag or National Anthem and see how far you get.
 
A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a salary raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's expanding salary.
A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the pastor's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost. After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us." Silence fell over the congregation.

In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand and finally said in her frail voice, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."

The entire congregation said "Amen."
 
Good laugh

> My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
>
> CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
>
> Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
>
> I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
>
> McDonald's is selling a Small Mac.
>
> A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
>
> A picture is now only worth 200 words.
>
> The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by real pirates.
>
> Called to get Blue Book Value on my car. They asked if gas tank was full.
>
> And, finally...
>
> I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs,
> my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the
> Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Afghanistan, and when I told
> them I was suicidal, they got excited, and asked if I could drive a
> truck.
 
I don' know if Dodge trucks come with Dodge Ram on the rear window like that. If they do then someone kind of cleverly modified it. Probably not the kind of asshole that you'd want dating your daughter.
 
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