You make my point better than I possibly could
Thank You
"Same Planet, Different World"
You make my point better than I possibly could
Thank You
"Same Planet, Different World"
hint:
I was 12yrs old walking thru the Foodliner with Mom and noticed that the milk on the shelf was less money than we got paid on the farm......"MA! What gives here??"
"I don't know son, somehow we get paid dollar and they sell it for a dollar"
Yeahh, well, "going broke in 20 minutes" ain't in it...... at least not in the way you intend it LOL
It AIN'T a business
I was 12yrs old walking thru the Foodliner with Mom and noticed that the milk on the shelf was less money than we got paid on the farm......"MA! What gives here??"
"I don't know son, somehow we get paid dollar and they sell it for a dollar"
Yeahh, well, "going broke in 20 minutes" ain't in it...... at least not in the way you intend it LOL
It AIN'T a business
antelopedundee
internet bum
Black humor. Something so pathetic it's funny. Not sure that this fits the bill tho.
Black humor. Something so pathetic it's funny. Not sure that this fits the bill tho.
Well I like it!
Bravo
So in the age of his maturity a man travels to Spain.
He sees the Palacio in Madrid, sips Sangria on on a balcony overlooking Cuenca and being a sporting man spends his days setting a line for the renowned Wels or sailing offshore for Mahi, an idyllic vacation to end too soon. As his trip winds down his last stop is the bullfight, he has timed his stay to coincide with the Corrida of Ciudad Rodrigo in Salamanca......."ahhh to see El Matador pit his skills against El Toro in the ring of blood".... his hotel is walking distance
After an epic evening he's still a little wired and stops in at a cantina directly adjacent to the arena.... it's late... the place is lazy, somnolent. As he waits he strikes up conversation with the man behind the bar who has much english. As they visit the man mentions that the criadillas are very fine tonight... "Especiales".....
"Criadillas?"
"Hoohhh j'es my frien', remember where you are!"......."This is the arena' del toro, these are the freshest huevos you will ever see!"
"Huevos?"
"SI! Huevos del Toro!!"
Nothing to lose here..... trip's nearly over....... "Sure! Bring on the criadillas!"
Soon he's enjoying the biggest meatballs he's ever had. Laying back he asks the bartender "so, could I get this recipe? Those were excellent!"
"No senor', no "recipe" just boiled, then breaded and deep fried"
"Breaded and deep-fried WHAT? may I ask.... the texture, is it a sausage meat?"
"No senor', it is the bull's balls"...."the huevos, the stones of the bulls killed in the arena tonight! Very fresh!!"
"Hooooooohhhh..!"
Feeling a little queasy our man totters back to his room and is out like a light.
Next morning dawns like an exploding canteloupe, fading into milky skies and scented breezes....it seems like a dream. Did he really eat fresh testes last night? He wanders back to the cantina which is of course closed but the guy is out front having a smoke in preparation for the mid-morning merienda and coffee rush. "Ahhh my new friend! Are you coming back tonight for the criadillas?"
"Hmmm, my plane leaves in the morning early but I just may"
That evening he decides to leave the ring early, catch the "especiale criadillas" and be back in for an early night. Only this plate is different. He calls the cook...."Hey, last night I got a huge plate of criadillas, great lumps of meat the size of Idaho spuds!"
"These things are small and shriveled like raisins, I'll need to stop by MacDonalds and grab a burger to fill the void!"
"What gives?"
"Ahhhh"....says the proprietor. "Is OK...." "jus'....."
"Sometimes the bull, he wins!"
He sees the Palacio in Madrid, sips Sangria on on a balcony overlooking Cuenca and being a sporting man spends his days setting a line for the renowned Wels or sailing offshore for Mahi, an idyllic vacation to end too soon. As his trip winds down his last stop is the bullfight, he has timed his stay to coincide with the Corrida of Ciudad Rodrigo in Salamanca......."ahhh to see El Matador pit his skills against El Toro in the ring of blood".... his hotel is walking distance
After an epic evening he's still a little wired and stops in at a cantina directly adjacent to the arena.... it's late... the place is lazy, somnolent. As he waits he strikes up conversation with the man behind the bar who has much english. As they visit the man mentions that the criadillas are very fine tonight... "Especiales".....
"Criadillas?"
"Hoohhh j'es my frien', remember where you are!"......."This is the arena' del toro, these are the freshest huevos you will ever see!"
"Huevos?"
"SI! Huevos del Toro!!"
Nothing to lose here..... trip's nearly over....... "Sure! Bring on the criadillas!"
Soon he's enjoying the biggest meatballs he's ever had. Laying back he asks the bartender "so, could I get this recipe? Those were excellent!"
"No senor', no "recipe" just boiled, then breaded and deep fried"
"Breaded and deep-fried WHAT? may I ask.... the texture, is it a sausage meat?"
"No senor', it is the bull's balls"...."the huevos, the stones of the bulls killed in the arena tonight! Very fresh!!"
"Hooooooohhhh..!"
Feeling a little queasy our man totters back to his room and is out like a light.
Next morning dawns like an exploding canteloupe, fading into milky skies and scented breezes....it seems like a dream. Did he really eat fresh testes last night? He wanders back to the cantina which is of course closed but the guy is out front having a smoke in preparation for the mid-morning merienda and coffee rush. "Ahhh my new friend! Are you coming back tonight for the criadillas?"
"Hmmm, my plane leaves in the morning early but I just may"
That evening he decides to leave the ring early, catch the "especiale criadillas" and be back in for an early night. Only this plate is different. He calls the cook...."Hey, last night I got a huge plate of criadillas, great lumps of meat the size of Idaho spuds!"
"These things are small and shriveled like raisins, I'll need to stop by MacDonalds and grab a burger to fill the void!"
"What gives?"
"Ahhhh"....says the proprietor. "Is OK...." "jus'....."
"Sometimes the bull, he wins!"
antelopedundee
internet bum
Dave Coots
64 Chevy 409 10.42 129
When a klown moves into the palace that doesn't make him a king, it makes the palace a circus....
Dave Coots
64 Chevy 409 10.42 129
antelopedundee
internet bum
Did you hear about the King who was trapped on a deserted island with his court jester? Within a week he was at his wit's end.
Nor Cal Mikie
Active member
You can't make this S*** up!
Just saw where a woman sued GEICO (the auto Ins. co) cause she got a STD while having sex in a car "Insured" by GEICO.
She had to be a democrat or at least work for the Biden Administration.
Just saw where a woman sued GEICO (the auto Ins. co) cause she got a STD while having sex in a car "Insured" by GEICO.
She had to be a democrat or at least work for the Biden Administration.
antelopedundee
internet bum
Just saw where a woman sued GEICO (the auto Ins. co) cause she got a STD while having sex in a car "Insured" by GEICO.
She had to be a democrat or at least work for the Biden Administration.
And she won $5+ million to boot.
Nor Cal Mikie
Active member
Because Geico, in their infinite wisdom didn't bother to respond to the lawsuit SO, you know who will be paying that tab. The Policy holders, who else? We expected less??
When he was 13 Bernie's father found him out back with a questionable magazine and a guilty look.... chuckling father Schwarz said "you must be more careful Bernie"
Again when he was 15 Bernie got caught in indiscretion when he forgot to lock his door...
and again at 18 and at 20yrs old....
"Bernie" says his father, "you need to find yourself a sweet kallehniu, a delightful Yiddisch bride".... "there's nothing like a lovely wife to keep you happy and content!"
At 22yrs Bernie met a wonderful local girl and father Schwarz was delighted. "Bernie, my blessing upon you... I am so happy, shiksa or not we will love your beautiful girl like our own daughter and are waiting eagerly for the patter of feet!!".... "a grandbaby will make your mother so happy!"
Years go by, 3 then 5yrs....no grandbabbies....
And then, horror of horrors Papa Schwarz again finds Bernie out back with a selection of magazines......he loses his calm...
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU MY CHILD!!"
"You have a beautiful wife!"
"Is she leaving you wanting?"
"Is she unwilling to make you happy?
"No Papa"....."She is everything to me and she is always ready and willing...."
"But Papa"
"Her little arm gets so tired!"
Again when he was 15 Bernie got caught in indiscretion when he forgot to lock his door...
and again at 18 and at 20yrs old....
"Bernie" says his father, "you need to find yourself a sweet kallehniu, a delightful Yiddisch bride".... "there's nothing like a lovely wife to keep you happy and content!"
At 22yrs Bernie met a wonderful local girl and father Schwarz was delighted. "Bernie, my blessing upon you... I am so happy, shiksa or not we will love your beautiful girl like our own daughter and are waiting eagerly for the patter of feet!!".... "a grandbaby will make your mother so happy!"
Years go by, 3 then 5yrs....no grandbabbies....
And then, horror of horrors Papa Schwarz again finds Bernie out back with a selection of magazines......he loses his calm...
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU MY CHILD!!"
"You have a beautiful wife!"
"Is she leaving you wanting?"
"Is she unwilling to make you happy?
"No Papa"....."She is everything to me and she is always ready and willing...."
"But Papa"
"Her little arm gets so tired!"
antelopedundee
internet bum
Why do witches fly without panties?
They get a better grip on the broomstick that way.
antelopedundee
internet bum
friggin funny!
Psychology Class and how to get an "A"
It was a practical session in the psychology class. The professor showed a large cage with a male rat in it.
The rat was in the middle of the cage.
Then, the professor put a piece of cake on one side and put a female rat on the other side. The male rat ran towards the cake and ate it.
Then, the professor changed the cake and replaced it with some bread. The male rat again ran towards the bread.
This experiment went on with the professor changing the food every time.
And, every time, the male rat ran towards the food item and never towards the female rat.
Professor asked the students: This experiment shows that food is the greatest strength and attraction, do you agree?
Then, one of the students from the back rows said: "Sir, why don't you change the female rat? This one might be his wife!"
The professor stood straight up his finger pointing towards the student and said "You just got an A."
It was a practical session in the psychology class. The professor showed a large cage with a male rat in it.
The rat was in the middle of the cage.
Then, the professor put a piece of cake on one side and put a female rat on the other side. The male rat ran towards the cake and ate it.
Then, the professor changed the cake and replaced it with some bread. The male rat again ran towards the bread.
This experiment went on with the professor changing the food every time.
And, every time, the male rat ran towards the food item and never towards the female rat.
Professor asked the students: This experiment shows that food is the greatest strength and attraction, do you agree?
Then, one of the students from the back rows said: "Sir, why don't you change the female rat? This one might be his wife!"
The professor stood straight up his finger pointing towards the student and said "You just got an A."