we need a humor forum.....until then

mike in co said:
Subject: Traffic Jam in Washington

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam in Washington DC . Nothing is moving!
Suddenly, a man knocks on the car window. The driver rolls down his window and asks "What's going on"?
''Terrorists down the road have kidnapped all the members of our Congress, they're asking for $10 million in ransom". "Otherwise, they're going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire"!
"We're going from car to car taking up a collection".
The driver asks "How much is everyone giving, on average"?
''Most people are giving about two gallons"!
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xs hedspace said:
Helpful hints to fellow geezer hunters: Making too much noise walking thru those dead leaves? Just turn off your hearing aid.
Take a viagra before going into the woods. Keeps yer boots drier when you have to pee.
Take a gingko memory pill, too, so you remember which pocket your cough medicine is in, and which pocket has the doe-in-heat buck lure.
And the best game call sounds just like a thermos bottle cap being unscrewed.
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A couple walks into a tavern on a Tuesday evening. Bill is with his wife, a pleasant and average looking woman.

He spots his old friend Al, standing at the bar, surrounded by three of the most beautiful women Bill has ever seen. They are talking and laughing and having a good time - the women are obviously enjoying Al's company.

Now, Bill knows his friend is not handsome or particularly smart, and definitely not wealthy, but the four of them seem to be close and having a good time.

After a few minutes, Bill pulls his friend aside to ask how he has manged to attract these gorgeous and well-dressed women, who are far above his class.

"I can't believe this," Bill said. "I've known you since high school, and you couldn't get even an ugly girl to go out with you. What's changed? Did you win the lottery or something?"

Al smiled, then pulled his friend aside, so the women couldn't overhear what he was about to say. "Bill, do you know the sound a woman makes when she has a multiple orgasm?"

Bill shook his head to say, no.

Al flashed a wide smile and said, "I didn't think you did."
 
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