Off Topic from one of our shooters-very funny!

B

Butch Lambert

Active member
You know you're from California if:

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a
conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is
named Flower.

5. You can't remember . .. is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7.. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are
grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball
cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George
Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news
station: "STORM WATCH.."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all
busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour
early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18... Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers
and cosmetic surgeons.

19.. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're
here illegally, they want to give you one.

Soon the rest of the country will be just like the West coast.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Ohhh that hurts!

And all true.

I just got off the phone with my buddy, he and his family are going south through LA right now..... on their way to MCRD. They're happy to have missed the rush hour, traffic's only going 85 and there are visible gaps in it. They can see the actual road.


The kids think the motorcycles passing them doing 95 between lanes is cool, "hey dad, can I open my window? This guy's like 2 inches away!"

"NO, that's a cop!! just let him do his job...."

"Hey dad, there's...."

"SHUT UP!!!!"

"oohhhh my neck hurts, my shoulders are knotted up, pass the Tylenol, and the Pepto....."

"look dad"

"SHUT UP!!!"


:D


al
 
5,8,13 and 18 does prove that the crap does effect your memory. I think?:cool:
 
just got back from MCRD a week ago watching my son become a marine had'nt been in so cal in thirty yrs people like me from oklahoma have no business there !!!!! never goin back NUFF SAID.
 
terryhawk said:
just got back from MCRD a week ago watching my son become a marine had'nt been in so cal in thirty yrs people like me from oklahoma have no business there !!!!! never goin back NUFF SAID.
Click to expand...


Ohhh c'MON..... San Diego ain't half bad! :D:D:D How'dja like Cafe Coyote? I spent 50bucks on me an' the wife and got about half full enough to make it to Mickey D's......

LOL


al
 
They left out the gay marriages road rage highest utility payments in the united states and lead free bullets so we don't hurt the big buzzards.
Waterboy
 
Maybe it will slide off into the ocean like everyone keeps saying. Bad part is that most of the air heads will float.
 
You mean I'm not the only one that is hoping for Obama and his entire administration is in California visiting for a vacation when it happens?:D
 
Big Al said:
You mean I'm not the only one that is hoping for Obama and his entire administration is in California visiting for a vacation when it happens?:D
Click to expand...

You're in good company! Or in NYC when they get a BIG ONE there which just could happen. Lots of geologic faults there, not to mention non-geologic faults.... :eek:
 
History is a real problem. One of the largest and most devastating earthquakes that has occur ed in America history occurred back in the 1820's. Old news accounts report the far reaching devastation in an other wise rural country. Now geologist tell us today that it can't happen today? The geology is unchanged now as it was then. Wonder who is correct?:confused:
 
Big Al said:
History is a real problem. One of the largest and most devastating earthquakes that has occur ed in America history occurred back in the 1820's. Old news accounts report the far reaching devastation in an other wise rural country. Now geologist tell us today that it can't happen today? The geology is unchanged now as it was then. Wonder who is correct?:confused:
Click to expand...

NO, NO, NO Big Al, nothing ever changes except the climate and that's only because of evil people and their animals breathing, and those barbarians in the United States eating meat! You obviously haven't been listening to St Algore, wise prophet of global warming.

Man I nearly hurled chunks all over my keyboard with that last one! :eek:
 
Bungaz and spores.

A spore is a California transplant. Once they invade your city they germinate into Bungaz.

A spore needs 5 things to germinate into a Bungaz:

1. A hill top overlooking the lesser indigenous cretins.
2. A body of water. This can be as elaborate as an alpine lake or a water treatment lagoon. Makes little difference.
3. An interstate within a mile of their driveway.
4. Public storage with an improved surface. Has to be an improved surface though. A gravel road is like kryptonite to a spore. Don't want the hybrid/SUV getting dusty.
5. A golf course.

If your home town has five of these things your XXXXX cause they're coming! What follows is even worse. Your taxes go up, the covenants start, and finally then comes Starbucks.

You've been warned!!
 
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Chad,

I think you're safe out in South Dakota... I liked the people I met out there while hunting around small towns. Those no-nonsense ranchers are good to be around.
 
Take a drive through Spearfish, SD.

It's happening. . .

Glad you liked us though! It's not a bad place to live. (except for when all those damn v twins show up for the T shirt festival. . .)
 
alinwa -
That was so true it's scary.
I live in Northern California and went to Arizona for a conference a few weeks ago and had the same issues. I asked my wife how fast you need to go to get pulled over. 90 mph is no big deal......
California has a bad reputation, and rightfully so, but the majority of the screwballs live in the LA and San Francisco areas. Up north where I am from was mostly a farming community until 15 or so years ago. Then the city people moved to the country and didn't like the smell of cow poop so they closed down the majority of family farms with new regulations that made it impossible to do business.
The state is in a horrible condition with people leaving like rats from a sinking ship.
It's a beautiful state but a horrible place to live.
 
Balance


God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day..
He inquired, "Where have you been?"
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it.. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor.
Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."
God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"
"That's the State of California, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful rivers and streams, lakes, forests, mountains, and valleys. The people from the State of California are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely
sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance.."
God smiled, "There's Washington DC. Wait till you see the idiots I put there.

So, now you know why. And the streets are really paved with gold. :rolleyes:

D R
 
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